Feeling More Confident

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1. Evaluate What’s Important To You

Once you have a clear idea of your aims and goals you start to care less about other’s opinions. Determination lets you stop caring about irrelevant things and irrelevant opinions. I’m not saying you need to know exactly what your purpose in life is, or what career you want, but I feel it helps to have some basic goals which stop other people getting in your way, even if it’s just a goal to be happy. Once those people who are tearing down your confidence become unimportant their opinions can’t get you down.

2. Focus On Yourself

Stop thinking about others. I, of course, have spent hours upon hours comparing myself to other people as I’m sure everyone else does. When I catch myself doing this though I do try to stop myself. Everyone is different and for good reason. Although it’s one of the biggest clichés of all time, if everyone was the same life would be boring.

3. Stop Judging Others

I think that once you stop judging others, you stop judging yourself, and you also realise that other people probably aren’t judging you, and if they are you don’t need to be caring about their opinion. When you judge people you start seeing the things you’re judging about them in yourself. I’m not trying to fool you into believing that I only think and say positive things about others all the time and I’m a massive ball of positivity. I think we’re all guilty of judging others at times, even if it’s just in our heads. But once you get into the habit of telling yourself to stop when these thoughts subconsciously pop into your brain, it does you good to have a little less negativity in your head, and you’ll feel better.

4. Change

Nobody should ever feel like they have to change. As long as you’re happy with yourself, and you aren’t hurting anybody else that’s all that matters. If there is one little thing about yourself that you want to change though, do! Its a positive thing to try and improve little bits of yourself if it will make you happier and give you more confidence. By change of course I don’t mean solely physical change, although that’s fine. Also think about things that are affecting you mentally. Is this person making me feel self conscious? Yes? Change it. Is doing this thing I’m doing making me unhappy and stressed? Yes? Change it. Is this relationship making me upset? Yes? Change it. Of course your own behaviour may be something you want to change, such as how you react to things, your overall attitude, or how you treat others.

5. You Don’t Have To Be Perfect

If you spend your life trying to obtain perfection you will never be happy, and therefore won’t feel the most confident that you can feel. There are some things that you can’t change, and there are some things that society might make you feel like you should change, and if these things stay the same that’s okay. You don’t have to conform to other people’s ideas of perfection to consider yourself perfect.

6. Don’t Be Afraid To Be Yourself

I at times do find myself holding back, or picking and choosing what I say to people, what secrets I share. I think that’s because I’m afraid of them having a negative reaction, even if it’s something that i know my friends shouldn’t have a problem with. Despite this however, I feel like being true and open with yourself and others without holding back out of fear of their reaction is really important in being confident with who you honestly are as a person.

A last little point is simply to make yourself happy! I have a bit to work on with my confidence i think, but I know that I am most confident when i am happiest.

Nicole x

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