I’ve been thinking quite a lot about friends lately. Since leaving school it’s become really apparent who my truly good friends are. When I was at school I think I just assumed that because I got on with these people and spoke to them everyday they were my good friends. After leaving school however I’ve realised that i only spoke to some of those people because I had to spend five days a week with them.
I’ve lost contact before with friends and fallen out with people, but I’ve never been the one to end a friendship, I’ve never been the one to ignore a friend until they got the message. I always thought that this was a good thing and just meant that I was a good friend (tooting my own horn a bit haha), but I’ve been thinking recently that maybe that has meant that I’ve kept myself in unhappy friendships which inevitably ended dismally.
I think that it’s really important to realise the difference of when someone truly is your friend and when you’ve been in a friendship so long you carry on with it because it’s easy.
Reasons to start seriously considering a friendship:
- You aren’t happy in this friendship (pretty important)
- This friend is saying or doing hurtful things, and doesn’t stop even after you’ve discussed this with them
- It’s one sided; This friend doesn’t make any effort to maintain your friendship
- This friend seems to be only using you for their personal gain
I don’t want it to seem as though if anything on this list is true you should end your friendship immediately and never contact your friend again. I just think that if these issues are occurring in a friendship, and aren’t resolved after talking about them, maybe you should consider investing less of your time in this person.
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” – C. S. Lewis