Stupid Things I’ve Done
I do a lot of stupid things, I think maybe more than average? It’s getting quite worrying how often I make stupid decisions and get myself into embarrassing and sometimes painful situations. But hey, it’s always fun to laugh at other people’s embarrassment! (As long as they’re not seriously injured or crying… um) But I’m not seriously injured or crying, well not right now, so I give whoever is reading this permission to either laugh at me or maybe even just appreciate that they have never done these things. (If you have ever done these things I am so so sorry my thoughts are with you in this difficult time, I’m only partly joking.)
1. Ran into a gravy stand
This sounds like quite a trivial, slightly amusing thing, I know. It was not at the time. Seven year old me thought it was a great idea to run around are local shop (just fyi not a good idea at all) and I obviously wasn’t paying any attention to anything, as usual, and ran head first into one of those gravy stand things. What a great explanation. You know those stands which sometimes have birthday cards in and you can spin them round? It was like that but held packets of gravy, and a bit of the metal on it went into my head. And it hurt. A lot. So I ran up to my mum who was in the queue, with blood literally running down my face, much to the horror of the other people who just wanted to get on with their shopping. And to cut a long story short I got to ride in an ambulance, get my head glued together and have butterfly stitches, and watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame while I waited. So there was a slight silver lining to it I suppose.
2. Cutting my own fringe
This is quite a short story to be honest. You can probably get the gist of it already. I cut my fringe, awfully of course, and instead of stopping I just kept going. Oh, and this was all on Christmas Eve. The best time I could possibly have done this. Not. Please don’t cut your fringe on Christmas Eve. At least do it at a time where it’s acceptable to stay in your room the whole of the next day in order to come to terms with your loss, rather than the day before you have to see LITERALLY EVERY MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY. Sigh.
3. Walking into doors
This is one I do surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) often, however there is a specific time I have in mind. It was when I was in school (already a bad start to the story I know) and walking down the corridor, away from my friend who was at her locker. Oh and this corridor led into the main dining area of the sixth form. Where there was a teacher doing a revision session with a group of year thirteens. I’m so embarrassed for my younger self. The door was open, so it was actually the edge of the door I walked into, which I suppose is quite a skill in a way. I turned my head to talk to my friend and just walked right into it. And it hurt SO MUCH. No one really cared about that now i look back on it, there was just a lot of laughing, and a lot of embarrassment. Even the teacher didn’t ask if I was okay. I mean I was, mostly, but that’s not the point. But now I think I’m just going to repress that memory (along with quite a few others to be honest) and pretend it never happened.
there are so SO many other really quite stupid things I’ve done but I don’t think I can handle any more embarrassment right now haha.