A Ramble About Education

maybe5

I feel quite weird, especially when I go on social media at the moment because lots of people are doing exams and I’m not.

For the past four or five years I’ve had exams every year and it’s weird not to. I’m not sure if I’m just not appreciating how stressful exams were, but I don’t seem to have the feeling of relief of not having exams that I thought I’d have. When I was in school, and I had exams to work towards, it felt like my life had a purpose. Does that make sense? God that sounds depressing. I have a purpose in life now, getting to university, and then finishing university, and getting a good job etc, but they’re not goals that I have to do anything to work towards at the moment really, I’ve gotten my place at university and I guess I could do work experience but I have no idea what job I want to do quite yet. (I know that’s sort of the point of work experience; to figure out what you want to do, but I’m more focused on working to save money for uni at the moment.) Anyway, this means that I don’t have a big thing I’m working towards.

I thought I’d be grateful for being able to watch as many TV series as I want and eat cake all day without feeling guilty, but to be honest I think I kind of miss education. Not necessarily school, but learning. I’m definitely glad I took a year out because it’s definitely made me appreciate education, and made me more determined to make sure I end up with a job I enjoy, no matter how hard I have to work to get there. I’m quite relieved I did it. I’m not saying if I’d gone to university this year I’d have dropped out, but I think it would have been more likely. After knowing how it feels to not be working towards either a qualification or working to progress in a career, I don’t want to be in this position again.

By this I don’t mean that everyone should be working towards university. It’s just that because I am going to university this year I’m limited to what I can do. I feel like I’m just waiting.

I guess what I’m saying is just that I’m really grateful I’ve taken a year out of education because it’s definitely what I needed to make me appreciate education as something I enjoy, rather than something I have to do to progress in life.

Nicole x

Advertisements